Lucky Mthembu, CEO of the SAWON Foundation, shares her journey as a survivor of gender-based violence and her mission to empower women and reform justice systems in the fight against abuse. Picture: Supplied
“Being someone who always said ‘I’d never be a victim of domestic violence’, yet finding myself as a survivor of gender-based violence, I believe I am the poster child for hope, strength, and resilience,” says Lucky Unganqotshwa Mthembu, the CEO of the Southern Africa Women of Note (SAWON) Foundation.
The former Miss SA Teen 2009 first princess has become a powerful advocate for the fight against gender-based violence (GBV) after surviving years of abuse at the hands of her ex-fiancé.
Mthembu shared her personal experience with domestic abuse with IOL and how it has shaped her mission.
"I saw how the situation I was in not only impacted me psychologically while I was in it, but it also gave me a unique perspective on not only how abusers operate and what the root of it probably is, but also what happens in the mind of the victim which causes those around them to often want to throw in the towel."
Through her foundation, Mthembu has developed programmes that address both the survivors of abuse and those supporting them.
"The programmes we have in place don't just focus on the aftermath of directly dealing with the victim and the perpetrator, but also bring awareness to the victims' loved ones who may be frustrated by why victims 'allow' this to happen to them," she says.
In 2017, Mthembu courageously broke her silence regarding the physical and emotional abuse inflicted upon her by her ex-fiancé, the grandson of a prominent KwaZulu-Natal politician.
Mthembu's flagship programme, The Nokuthula Legacy, is named in honour of her late mother, who lost her life at the hands of Mthembu’s abusive ex-partner.
"It aims to foster aid to women in abusive situations where we have partnered with organisations that will assist in helping them in justice-related issues," she says, explaining how her own struggle with the justice system drove her to take action.
"How the justice system handled my situation was one of my biggest challenges until I escalated the matter to the ministry of police years later and my perpetrator was only arrested after having murdered another woman."
The programme also aims to create dialogue between men and women to address the root causes of abuse.
"Particular focus will be placed on the boy child, while also creating platforms where men can be vulnerable and break the 'indoda ayikhali' [men don’t cry] stigma that has been perpetuated in society," Mthembu says.
"We believe part of the problem comes from suppressed emotions and men not being afforded the 'right' to express emotions."
As part of this initiative, SAWON is developing an app in collaboration with psychologists and life coaches to provide men with mental health support.
Mthembu also stresses the need to encourage people to speak out, particularly in rural communities.
"I think rural communities, in particular, are where our programmes need to be run because that is where you still find rigorous traditional patriarchal systems at play where women don't have a voice, don’t understand what abuse is, what it looks like, how it starts, and where to go when they are experiencing it."
Speaking about the upcoming GBV & Leadership Banquet conference on November 14 at the Durban ICC. Mthembu hopes the event will encourage honest dialogue.
"At the conference, we hope that people leave understanding that abuse from both the victim and perpetrator perspective isn't just black and white," she says.
"We need to have uncomfortable conversations in order to see change starting to take shape."
Mthembu also emphasises the need for reform in the justice system, particularly in how protection orders are handled.
"When it comes to the justice system and how issues around GBV are approached by law enforcement, there needs to be policy change," she argues.
"We need to go back to the drawing board and spread awareness to law enforcement about the psyche of a victim reporting a case."
Mthembu explains that her personal experiences have guided her purpose in life. "My second name, given to me by my grandfather, means 'do not be conquered' — I believe I'm living up to it," she says.
IOL