Simangaliso Ntoni with his new book.
Gugulethu resident Simangaliso Ntoni has released his first book which delves deep into the issues of manhood.
Ntoni, 19, used his savings to self-publish his book, What It Means To Be A Man.
In an interview with Vukani at his home last Sunday, he said the book examines what it means to be a real man and what expectations there are from society.
He said he realised that women and children were still being abused by the people who are meant to love and look after them.
The idea of writing this book came at the beginning of this year when Ntoni came back from initiation school.
He looked at all the aspects of how a real man should be - starting from how he talks and performs his daily duties.
In the book he talks about his personal experience and also what he has seen.
We live in a world full of abuse and the perpetrators are those who claim to be men. A real man, said Ntoni, would never raise his hand against his wife and children. Instead, he should look after his family.
He said it was critical that he write about such a topic as he takes it from the perspective of a young person.
“We need to grow a nation that has real men who are not abusers. We need to build a nation where women and children will feel free and not fear men because they are abusers. We need to groom young boys to know that real men do not abuse children and women.
“We need to groom a nation of boys who will take responsibility for their actions and who will be there for their families. A real man is a protector and provider,” he said.
Ntoni said coming from the initiation school motivated him to write this book as he felt that he had entered a new phase in his life which comes with its own responsibilities and challenges.
He said while growing up he never really had a relationship with his father and it’s only now that they are bonding.
If fathers are not available in their children's lives, who is going to guide them, asked Ntoni. He talks about the important role fathers play in their children's upbringing.
He said at some point in his life he found himself smoking and drinking because he lacked a father-figure role model. However, he said he managed to get out of that habit before it was too late.
He talks about forgiveness as he forgave his father when he was absent from his life because he believes that aggression and resentment can only hold you back.
Talking about writing the book, he said it was not an easy process as at times he wanted to give up.
However, he said there was something which kept on pushing him to continue writing and it took him eight months to complete the book.
He described himself as an optimistic person who never gave room to challenges and he simply pushed on.