Mother shares story of being a rape survivor
A 34-year-old mother left everyone in the room in tears when she shared her story of being raped in three separate incidents.
The unemployed mother of two girls, aged 14 and 16, who have also shockingly been raped, said the justice system has failed her.
She was among a group of speakers who shared their life experiences when Baphi Abafazi, a women’s organisation which fights gender-based violence, held their annual general meeting last Saturday at Injongo Primary School in Khayelitsha.
The mother told Vukani she was only 7 years old the first time she was raped by someone from her village.
She found herself being a victim of rape again in 2006 while she had not yet healed from her first traumatic rape.
She was gang raped just two years later in 2008 when she had just turned 18.
She said when she told her family that her aunty’s husband had raped her when she was 16 she was told that it was a family matter and would be handled that way.
She was not satisfied with that response so she then reported the matter at a police station and that is when her relationship with her family turned sour.
All these incidents occurred in the Eastern Cape at Ngqamakhwe location where she originally comes from.
She said in the third incident she was gang raped and her family wanted her to marry a man who was among those who had raped her.
“My first child was born out of rape because after I had informed my family I was then treated like an outcast by them.
“My second born was raped by my sister’s boyfriend and I can tell you for sure that I do not have a relationship with her and we are not talking. My first child was raped here in Delft.
“I raised my daughters in the streets because I have never in my entire life had a place of my own. I had been squatting at friends and people that were willing to help. Only last year I managed to have my own place.
“I reported my cases at a police station in the Eastern Cape and nothing was done. I hate police officers because they failed me. I have no trust and faith in the police.
“It feels like a curse that I have been raped and my daughters have been raped also.
“I have never had any time to deal with my trauma and yet I have to be very strong for my daughters.
“I have no one but myself. I just need work so that I can provide for two daughters. The eldest daughter is still very traumatised about it and she does not even want to talk about it,” she said.
She said her whole life had been based on tragedy and she cannot remember the last time she smiled or had a good laugh.
But, she said she had to be strong for her daughters and ensure they had a decent life.
She said such platforms created by Baphi Abafazi are welcome as they enabled them to share their pains, trials and tribulation as a way of finding healing in the process.
One of the founding members of Baphi Abafazi, Xoliswa Tsholoba, said they offer support to victims of gender-based violence.
Ms Tsholoba said their organisation aims to provide a platform where victims of gender-based violence could speak freely of their challenges and as the organisation walk with them in their journey of healing.
One of their goals is to empower women with skills so that they could become self-reliant because in many cases women stay in abusive relationships simply because the abuser is the provider.
