As is the case every year around this time, I’ve reported on a number of Women’s Month events. In recent years the focus has been largely on gender-based violence, and as the month of awareness draws to a close, I’d to urge men to recommit themselves not only to ending violence against women, but also standing up when they are victims of abuse.
I was impressed with the men’s meeting held at the Philippi East police station recently where men resolved to end woman abuse.
While it was concerning that men are well aware of what’s going on, they often prefer to hide the truth, and are, for obvious reasons, quiet about their abusive ways.
That said, however, I found that at the meeting, the men were authentic and many bravely shared their experiences which weighed heavy on their hearts. And no one laughed at their problems. This, we know, is in stark contrast to men who have claimed to have been laughed at my police when they went to report being abused by their partners.
This made me wonder why men do not feel like they’re allowed to share their stories. They must realise that if we share these sad stories, the world will see that not all men are perpetrators of gender-based violence, but that some are themselves too, victims of violence and abuse.
Everywhere I go, when gender based violence is discussed, there will be a man who whispers about his own ill-treatment. In the taxis and buses, there are men who speak about this. But why are they not coming out in public?
You see, one of the problems we men have is pride. Men are scared to report abuse cases because the police will laugh at them. If police laugh at men when they report abuse, those officers must be reported to their seniors.
My suggestion is that before we find ourselves at another talkshop during November when the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children is marked, men must rise up and speak - about the abuse of women, children as well as themselves.
And in order for all men not be labelled as abusive, murderous monsters, the good among us must ensure that when we see abuse, we speak out. Ultimately, most of those who are maimed are women. Most of those who are raped are women. And who rapes them if not men? For this to stop, it will require the effort of all good men.
Let me conclude by saying, the Philippi East Police station has dug the road. Men of Lower Crossroads and Island have opened up; it is now with each and every one of us to follow suit.